New YouTube videos-Love addiction

Very interesting videos!

Courage Coaching

This is the 2nd blog entry I am doing on love addiction, as I know how much of a struggle it is for many of you. I created 2 Youtube videos that cover the most important areas.

Pleae note that there are 2 types of 12 step programmes for love addiction.

One is called Love Addicts Anonymous (LAA) and the other is called ‘Sex & Love Addicts Anonymous’ (SLAA).

I hope you find these useful!

Love Athina ♥

© All blog posts and images are owned by me and Courage Coaching. Please don’t use without consent and only re-blog if you would like to use the information on here.

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Hyper / Hyposensitivity

Good afternoon all you dreamers and creamers,

After another long mute I once again feel the need to write something off my chest. I would like to continue my series on why I think that giftedness can be much more of a burden than it is often perceived to be.

I pretty much gave it away in the title but would like to elaborate on this a little more and show how exactly this can be so much of a burden.

I feel both of the above in a particular way. Always and about everything.

Whilst I dont want to go into the details of (the clinically not yet broadly recognised) emotional ‘hypersensitivity’ and use a checklist or something similar (if five of the next onehundred items apply to you, you are xzz..) – (as if anybody would always fall into manmade rosters), I also dont want to focus on the emotional side but show how this makes everyday life quite stressful.

Hypersenitivity can be about smell, light, taste and being overly receptive to people’s responses or actions.

In my case (with the above still being true also), it means being overly sensitive to principles, justice, injustice, imbalances, socioeconomic struggles and consequences of our daily deeds. Basically to things that we do which then create an echo in the world we live in.

The question that comes into my head mostly is ‘how can it be that…’.

The burden lies in the fact that I feel that whatever you actually start to think through, you start picking up where the flaws are hidden. If your brain in persistent in doing this without you wanting it.

This overanalysing can seriously change your mood. Not to the better that is. Without me wanting it that is. Most things start to appear like a hoax.

I will go into some details next time and will now briefly show what I mean by hypoensitivity. In fact this is closely linked and evoked by the other. They are like the brothers Hypnos and Thanatos.

To protect myself and my sanity, I guess my brain has developed the skill to switch off. To become indifferent to the impulses around it. Not because it doesnt care. Because it cares too much. This make things unbearable at times.

This results in sarcastic jokes nobody wants to hear, cynical comments that bring people down and most importantly disable me from having adequate responses to external stimuli. This is what make us people into people however. Showing and feeling emotional responses.

I have often heard myself say how I dont give a rats ass while in fact I’m deeply hurt. I’m sure everyone knows this.

However, depending on the frequency of this happening together with the magnitude of events that my brain is overwhelmed by (and thus not caring or switching off), this can appear as indifferent, or even inhumane, to others.

Whilst in fact I care so much.

To summarise today’s razmataz:

Hypersensitivy is a result of giftedness is many cases. It sucks to see the universe in a rice grain all the time.

However, the self-protecting hyposensitivity is what sucks even more as it can be misperceived as ignorant indifference to events. Also, it often bereaves me of an important emotional state many people so rightly find themselves in.

Whats your opinion on this? I would love to read your comments and thoughts!

 

 

 

 

 

Knowing the Person Inside of Your Own Head

Great post & very true!

GentleKindness

Whose depression is worse?  Which mental illness is greater? 

Who suffers the most?

When does a depression become a mental disorder? At what point does regular anxiety become an anxiety disorder?

How long do you have to feel depressed, before you should be evaluated for depression?

At what point do depression and anxiety cross over from mental issues, and  become a mental illnesses?

Do you have to have a diagnosis to have a “real” mental illness? What did you have the day before you received the diagnosis?

Is one person’s mental disorder more important than someone else’s?

Is one person’s emotional suffering “worse” because they tell you it is worse than yours?

Does the “squeaky wheel” tendency also exist in mental health?

Is the squeakiest wheel the person with the worse mental disorder?

Is having to be the loudest squeaky wheel a disorder in itself?

Should you feel bad talking…

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my take on PA

Hello compadres,

Thanks for taking the time to check back with my blog. I have to admit that writing these mothers is tougher than I thought and I really appreciate the efforts that so many of you put into this.

Now –

Last time the bottom line of my post was that giftedness takes away quite a bit of the virtue other people gain as part of studying and that giftedness significantly lessens the necessity to sit down and invest in learning whilst getting by with no effort at all.

This can easily be transferred into a professional environment. Unfortunately, the effects ain’t candy.

I graduated from university in 2009. I was able to get an entry level position right away and moved up the ladder since. Currently, I am working at a university designing academic intensive programmes for MBA students amongst others. It’s a full-on project management position and would likely be described as challenging, demanding and desirable by others.

I do like my job. It’s a pleasant environment and it provides for a very comfortable lifestyle.

Coincidentally, I have my annual appraisal coming up tomorrow. Whilst I’m not at all worried about the level of satisfaction at my manager’s end, I feel this to be another great opportunity to pinpoint the effects giftedness – the effects on the emotional return of professional achievement, or PA.

I think we can agree that PA is a relative currency. We all differ in personality, character and skills and we all have different hurdles to jump and challenges to overcome on a daily basis.

One thing I notice more and more, however, is the sensation that to me my PA is meaningless and empty for the same reason as the AA in my previous post.

This is real bad news. Especially, as I still have to work for the next 40 years to come!

I envy the people – my colleagues for instance – that feel satisfaction when a project goes well after they really invested thought into it. When all the efforts pay off at the end. They are proud and feel like they have achieved something.

Of course, it’s not at all about the recognition by others. It’s about how they themselves feel about this.

For me, this feeling just doesn’t exist. Not because I am an arrogant bastard – because it’s too easy to do a good job. It comes naturally.

This doesn’t mean I can do everything. Quite the opposite. However, the stuff I can do comes naturally. It comes like an emotion. There is nothing you need to do for it.

I do feel that the demand on the job may be high, I feel that I need to think a lot, yet I feel like there is still room for more in my head and that growing challenges only help grow this room in my head exponentially.

During the mentioned appraisal, my manager will commend my achievements and tell me how smooth everything is going. This is great of course.

Unfortunately, it will again feel like he is praising me for being able to spell my own name!

Giftedness offers a lot. It has many benefits. You can literally see a universe in a rice grain. I would not want to live a day without this.

However, giftedness takes away so much, too. Especially, as we all live and need to get by in one society. The problem in my opinion is compatibility.

The higher the arithmetic distance to the norm, the more of a whackjob you are (made out to be?). The less compatible your way of thinking is – the more unconventional you think – the more solitude you need to be comfortable with.

The older I get, the more I can see that there is a clear purpose of a normal (in a math. sense) intelligence. Even above average is fine of course. As long as you have more commonalities with the norm than with the extreme.

In case of the latter you are boned.

The bottom line of this post?

If a capacity that we define as say IQ 150 was useful in the long-term for the evolution of mankind, nature would have implemented this for all of us.

Extremes in terms of IQ are just like a disability as ultimately all is about compatibility in our world.

A one legged persons merely is at a disadvantage as most of us have two. Three working legs might be better, but may not be in a world that is constructed by and for two legged people.

I mean seriously, try buying some pants that way! You’re boned!

Let me know what you think!

All the best for you! Back to work for me!

 

 

 

my take on AA

Now – First of all my apologies for the long muteness on my end. I really appreciate that some of you took the time to read my debut!

Actually one of your previous comments inspired me to elaborate on something that has been on my mind for quite some time and is now – with growing maturity (yes, still happening at 32) and progress in life – revealing itself more and more.

I want to talk about the AA (currently drinking a pint) – AA as in Academic Achievement.

Having grown up in multiple European countries, I had the “pleasure” to experience the general attitudes to people with, say, above average IQ. I’m not a fan of the in my opinion illusonary unification of brain / mental capacity under these two letters but let us leave this aside for the moment and stick to the issue.

High(er) intelligence was mostly associated with high(er) AA.

Whilst having been a member of the chessclub myself with sometimes good and sometimes moderate success (current elo is around 1750 for those of you that are into this), I was and am never into anything that was / is generally considered a topic for the gifted. I wasnt good at Maths, sucked at Chemistry and was only barely even able to follow English class. I knew how to spell Astronomy and knew there were some stars out there but, yeah, you know, whatever…they will still be there tomorrow.

As an adult, I feel overwhelmed easily by anything that stimulates my brain as I overthink. I dont want to talk politics. Dont want to talk philosophy (and yet – I love it, especially the latter. Deeply. Also Astronomy).

On the other hand, at the age of 13, I started teaching myself Japanese. I’m talking the full monty – along with the 1945 kanji that are expected of highschool grads. Whilst learning a language is generally nothing special, at that age I guess it might be. I just did it though. Before sleep, whilst sitting on the loo, when I was bored.

And here is my problem: I didn’t find it a challenge. It just came to me.

Can you relate?

I wish – and I mean this with utmost sincerety – I wish it had been a challenge. I wish I had had the feeling to have achieved something. Not because I have a low self esteem – but because overcoming a challenge would have motivated me further.

Please note – I figured the reason why I wasnt good at the sciences for instance was simple. I just didnt care. Regardless of my IQ. Luckily, that is allowed.

Looking back, this problem actually might have the potential to create real difficulty. And I’m sure it has created such for many others. For many others that are now in jail, unemployed and socially incompatible rejects.

My deduction of this –

I only ever invest as much energy as is required for me to prevail. I never needed to invest much energy, as for me a minimum investment yielded sufficient return. Was sufficient to pass, prevail, move on etc.

The consequence –

I never learnt to really learn. I’m talking sitting on my ass. And work. To pass. To prevail. To move on.

I’m like an animal that will only move, i.e. use as much energy, as is required to stay alive.

Nature’s most efficient, if you will.

Drifting on without any real AA. Regardless of my BA and excellent MA (and maybe PhD in the future), I still am in the pursuit of something that will actually challenge and really motivate me.

There is a reason most of the population revolve around the 100s (if translated in terms of IQ). Most of the people I know and value work for things they have. This is great. They own it – and I sometimes long to know their emotion when they pass, prevail and move on.

As a reward for their hard work and investment.

Unfortunately, the beat goes on and consequently AA translates into PAProfessional Achievement – on the next level.

Stay tuned. Stay healthy. I appreciate your time.

postnumberone

Hello.

This is my first blog.

A word of warning – this blog may at times be aggressive, arrogant, sarcastic, completely immature and written in rant style. But – and this is the good news – it will be completely devoid of any bogus insights into the ‘true world’ of the gifted adult.

Of course, as you may already have pictured, I am sitting here with thick glasses, a chessboard (no, in fact a go board), some magazines about astrophysics I use as coasters and japanese manga because I can’t get girlfriends.

My IQ enables me to get jobs of the highest calibre, and everything I do is about knowledge, learning, using my brain for a purpose and being smart.

Bullshit!

Have you ever –

felt the need to cover up the fact that you are already three steps ahead?

Have you ever –

wished you can give someone a piece of your brain so that you are no longer burdened with the isolation? Just to level the playingfield?

Have you ever –

felt that superior intelligence is a flaw in nature other than a gift?

Have you ever –

just slobbed around and enjoyed it to bits to be alone with your mind?

Have you ever –

acquired new skills just to figure out the underlying pattern in a jiff and then get painfully bored?

Have you ever –

wanted to be a shepperd – somewhere in nature?

Have you ever –

lived with the burden of not being able to get any satisfaction out of events that others perceive as achievents because it is just so easy for you?

Have you ever –

overthought every little piece of tiny unneccesary information?

Have you ever –

seen a universe in a rice grain?

If the above applies to you I would like to invite you to my blog. If not, I’m just as interested (I always want to learn, remember :-))

Feel free to comment on the Have you ever’s. I know there is tons more.

(And for those of you that spotted it – yes, I’m an 80’s guy and did grow up with The Offspring)